Questions and Answers, Part 10
Selected Scriptures
Well, now, let's answer some questions, and you asked me too many question. I can't answer 'em all, so if yours doesn't get answered, it's one of two reasons. I don't have time, or I don't know the answer...
Here's one that came right off the top. I'll just start with this, and there were many like this. Many said, "How can you really make your marriage what it oughta be?" Some say, "Well, how can you communicate in marriage? How can a wife really confront her husband? How can a marriage be what it oughta be?" There's so many answers in the Scripture. Of course, following the example of 1 Peter chapter 3 would be critical. Let's look at it for a brief moment, and we'll keep moving on these, so we're just gonna give you a suggestion to go back and do a little study on your own.
One lady said, "Well, if your...if your husband doesn't fulfill your expectations as a spiritual leader, if your husband isn't saved, or if your marriage isn't what it oughta be, what do you do?" First Peter 3 says, "You wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the Word, they may be without the Word won by the behavior of the wives." In other words, if your husband isn't living up to Biblical truth, either he's not saved or perhaps he's a Christian but doesn't obey the Word, without the Word and by your behavior you can win him. "When he beholds...verse 2...your pure conduct coupled with reverence." You see, it's a matter of who you are, not what you say, but who you are. "Your adorning, let it not be the outward adorning of the braiding of the hair and wearing of gold and putting on a fancy, fine apparel." In other words, if he sees that you're preoccupied with the inside, not the outside, that says a lot to him. It's very hard to convince somebody that something means a lot to you unless it's evident in your life; and if the spiritual is that important, then it'll be the preoccupation of your life rather than the external. See, that's what he's saying. "Concentrate...verse 4...on the hidden man of the heart, that which is not corruptible." Do you realize that most people spend their entire life buying things that decay. Did you know that? Every...everything in your house, and all the things that you possess in this world, will rot. We spend our entire life buying stuff that rots. Really something. Instead of working on the inside. "The ornament of a meek, quiet spirit." Now, that's the approach. That's what he said. You can compare Ephesians chapter 5 where it talks about the wife submitting to her husband in the Lord and so forth.
Lemme just give you some things that my dad was sharing with me. Cecil Osborne lists how to put romance back into your marriage. You ready for this? This is how to get the spark back. No. 1, learn the real meaning of love, and what is the real meaning of love? It is self...what?...sacrifice. Okay, No. 2, give up dreams of a perfect marriage and work toward a good marriage. Did you get that? Give up dreams of a perfect marriage and work toward a good marriage. Three, discover your husband's unique needs and meet them. He's unique. You know that. You've said to him many times, "I've never met anyone like you." Recognize his uniqueness. Meet his needs. Four, abandon your preconceived ideas of what men are like and discover what your man is like...There is no mythical Aristotelian man. You gotta live with yours. Abandon all dependency on your parents. Six, give praise and appreciation instead of seeking it. These are pretty practical. Give praise and appreciation instead of seeking it. Seven, surrender possessiveness and jealousy that comes from insecurity and always destroys, and the only place to surrender it is to Christ. Eight, treat your husband or wife - it can either way - with affection instead of bad news and complaining. At least let him sit down before you tell him. Now here's a good one. No. 9, abandon all hope of changing your partner through criticism or attack. Who changes people? Only God...and, by the way, attack begets attack. Criticism begets criticism. Hate begets hate. Love begets love. Whatever you want is what you give. No. 10, outgrow the princess syndrome...A princess asks, and a princess demands, and a princess feels special. Realize that you have to give. No. 10, or 11, pray for patience. Patience is tension capacity, and then another one, just to final it. These are a dozen here. Abandon self-pity. Don't wallow in sorrow.
You know, I think part of the problem is this, you know, some women wouldn't be satisfied if their husband was a combination of Gabriel, Abraham Lincoln, and Robert Redford; and I think, in many ways, the church can set a standard that's so high that, no matter what the man does to try to be the spiritual head, he never lives up. We're looking for someone who could fit into the first vacancy in the Trinity, and maybe that's not right. I think there are some principles in the Word of God about how you live and about the expectations that you have that can help you to make your marriage a good marriage; and we'll say a lot more about that in Ephesians chapter 5. We're gonna cover that in great detail coming up.
Here's another one. What does the Bible say about Christians investing their money in things over and above their needs in order to get out of paying taxes? Now, lemme just say this. The Old Testament, we don't have to cover this in detail, but in my little book that I wrote called Giving God's Way, we cover a little bit about God telling us to invest our money and give our money. The Christian and His Finances tape covers that also. But lemme just say this. God expects you to be wise about your investments. The government gives you the right and the opportunity to wisely do that. Since God has told you to invest wisely, and since God has ordained government, Romans 13 says that, you have every right to take every opportunity to invest everything you can as a tax shelter. That's only wise stewardship. God expects you to use your head about those kinds of things. Whatever the government provides for you, you should take advantage of.
Now, in Matthew chapter 25, I'm just gonna refer to this one passage for time's sake tonight, we find our Lord Jesus' own words that, "It is wise to invest your money." In Matthew chapter 25 and verse 27, He says in talking here of the parable of the talents and, of course, the Lord in the parable is the Lord of reality, the Lord Christ. He says, "Thou oughtest therefore...Matthew 25:27...to have put my money to the exchangers...and literally it means in the bank...and then at my coming, I should have received mine own with interest." In other words, if you'd have been a faithful servant, and you'd have been a wise servant, you'd have wisely invested this, and you'd have gained interest. There is nothing wrong with that. That is a godly act to wisely invest. You go back to the godly woman of Proverbs 31, and she was wise enough to purchase a field and make a profit. There's nothing wrong with that. God has designed that we do that. God wants you to save money. He even sets up in the Proverbs an ant, "Take heed to the ant, who has enough sense to store up his food for the winter." We should be saving. We should be hedging against the future somewhat. There's no lack of trust in that. If God provides beyond your needs, now, then the money beyond your needs now may be money that He expects you to wisely invest now, so that when the future comes, He doesn't have to give you more. People say, "Well, I don't wanna save any money, because that wouldn't be living by faith." Oh, yes, it would. If you have all your needs met, and you have something left, then that is to be set aside wisely to provide for the future when God may have a different design rather than wastefully spent. So it's important to invest, and our own Lord Jesus let's us know about that.
Here's another interesting one that no doubt has to do with Local 770 and the strike in the market business here. Is it unbiblical to belong to a labor union? No, and I hasten to add this. The Bible doesn't say anything about labor unions. The Bible doesn't say anything about economics and political economics, most of all. That is at the discretion of every Christian. It is not more sanctified to be in a...in a non-union shop than a union shop. That just isn't true. Those things are political and economic. Now, somebody else asked the question, should a Christian strike? When you join a union, you pledge a certain amount of support to that union, right? I mean that's basically what it is. The union seeks to better and improve your job situation on the basis that you will commit yourself to be loyal to their pursuits. Now, I think you have a responsibility, as a Christian, to submit, then, and to keep your word to that organization until such a time as you feel they have violated what is right; and so it comes right down to the place where every Christian must decide for himself and herself whether or not such a strike is a right thing to do. If it is right, if it is equitable, then you can submit to the structure of that union. If, on the other hand, it is inequitable, it is unjust, it is unfair, then I think you can go ahead and break the lines and go across and work if you wish. But that's for every Christian to decide. The Bible makes no specific comment in regard to that particular issue.
Well, I think that, you know, what you need to do in that case is to get your Bible and go to the 6th chapter of Ephesians, and you need to read that through carefully there, where you have God's labor relations all laid out. How you are to function, and it talks about master and a servant, and it means an employer and an employee, how you are to function. Then when you've done that, go to Colossians chapter 3 and make a comparison of the two. Then ask God to give you direction.
I know in my own situation, I used to be in Local 770 when I was kid working in high school as a...in a market; and there were times when I submitted, and times when I did not submit; and they were based upon what I felt was right. I remember that I was in a situation, and the union wanted me to stand up in front and raise my hand and swear loyalty to the union; and in my own conscience, I felt that I couldn't swear by anything, that I couldn't swear my allegiance to anything in this world other than Jesus Christ. That's just where I was in my understanding, and so I said, "I'm not gonna do that." So they picked me up bodily. The guy threw me on the street on Hollywood Boulevard. Then, of course, they came back next week to get my dues and get me back in again; and, at that point, I submitted; and I was willing to be a part. I just didn't feel I could pledge my allegiance to any other than Jesus Christ. Now, that was my own conscience at that point. I'm not trying to set down a law for you. But I think that's the rule by which you have to function in the economic/political world in which we live. You've gotta be responsible as a Christian. God doesn't give you these kinda pat answers. Don't strike. Do this, and so forth. You've gotta work your own situation under the energy and the power and direction of the Holy Spirit. Okay?
Let's go on to another question, and some of these are really good. A brother and sister in Christ here in our church, apparently, have separated, divorced, and remarried against the instruction of the Scripture, against the instruction of other brothers and sisters, against the instruction of the church. It ended in them being separated from our fellowship, and that's true. When someone goes against the teaching of the Word of God willfully, goes against the teaching and the instruction and ruling of the elders, they will be put out of the church. That's what the Bible says for the purity of the church.
The question then, when, if at all, can they be restored to fellowship and how? Well, lemme answer the first question. Can they be restored to fellowship? What's the answer? The answer is can God forgive sin? Yes. Yes, they can be restored; and, even though they divorced in a non-biblical manner, even though they remarried in a non-biblical manner, and even though there will be chastening, believe me, there will be chastening, because wherever there is sin, there is chastening, there will always also be in the heart of God forgiveness and restitution wherever there is repentance. So the first thing we have to understand is that there's no sin too big for God to forgive. There's no evil too despised by his holiness that he cannot take the sinner back who comes repentant.
Now, people say, "Well, if they repent, do they have to then leave and go back to the original partners?" No. That would really be something. That would be trying to unscramble the egg. It couldn't be done. Repentance, and I believe that repentance demands an overt, verbal confession to the church, at least in part, some of the church, of the sin involved and a turning from a sinful, willful heart attitude to an attitude of righteousness that seeks to serve God. In Galatians 6:1, we have the right Scripture to apply. "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fall, ye who are spiritual restore such an one in the spirit of humility or meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted." When somebody is overtaken in a fall, and here the idea is that they fall and they repent. If somebody continues in sin, there's no restoration; but if they see it as such, they repent of it, they turn around, then restoration is at hand; and so, where there is repentance, where there is confession, I'm convinced there is restoration.
And that leads to another question or two that came up about this divorce issue. It says, "Is it always sin for a divorced person to remarry? Is it always sin for a divorced person to remarry?" Now, lemme answer that very briefly by saying no. No, there are some Biblical bases on which a divorced person can remarry. No. 1, where there is adultery, the Bible says that the innocent party is released from the marriage bond, and such release is to provide opportunity for a remarriage. Now, lemme say what I believe on this. I believe if two people are married, one commits adultery, there is a...there is the right of divorce. Jesus said this in Matthew. There is that right of divorce. You have that privilege. I don't think that that's an absolute necessity.
I think the Bible is most pure in its statement about divorce when Malachi says that God said, "I hate divorce." Okay? And it was always because of the hardness of your heart, right? Deuteronomy says, so, basically, just because a partner is unfaithful doesn't mean, "Well, you've done it. That's it. It's divorce. The only option." No, no, I think God's greatest desire would be for there to be great forgiveness, great repentance on the part of the person who was guilty, and then a coming back together; but sometimes that can't happen, because there's no repentance, or the...the adultery becomes prolonged, and it's just the end; and our Lord said that where that occurs, the person is free to remarry.
Now, also, in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, it says, "If an unbeliever departs, let him depart. A brother is not in bondage in such cases." And I believe that what that is saying is that if an unbeliever leaves a Christian, and the issue of their leaving, now watch it, the issue of their leaving is the spiritual issue, that a believer is then free. So I would say that a person can remarry on two bases. One is that if they lost their partner due to an adulterous situation, which they were the innocent party. Two, on the basis of an unbeliever who departs. But lemme tell you something real quick. Even though there is a divorce in the case of adultery, and even though there is a divorce in the case of a...of an unbeliever willfully leaving, it is my own personal policy that I will not remarry somebody, even though they're the innocent party, to another partner until that partner who left for adultery or desertion has remarried; and the reason I say that is this. Romans 7 talks about the fact that, when a new partner is married, the first relationship is completely over; but even beyond that, my reasoning is this. I never wanna second guess God. In an adulterous situation, a partner could leave, and then their life could be transformed by Jesus Christ, and the best thing that could happen would be to put it back together again. But if I go and take that person and marry them to somebody else, then I have eliminated that option, and just maybe I've second guessed God. And people will always say, "You know, well, they went away, and it was adulterous, and they're not interested in me," and so forth and so forth and so forth; and "I found this new partner, and I wanna get married," and so forth. And, you know, I say to myself, "Well, maybe it's right, and maybe it is right, but let's wait until we know it's right, that God had nothing else in mind." So I'd rather give God that option. That's just my own personal conviction. I... that's not really a Biblical thing, because the Bible does say that when that partner leaves, when that person deserts, there is the right to remarry; but it's my conviction that I'd rather be patient than rush into another marriage, to wait and see if God might put it back together again.
Now, those things apply to people who are involved in the Lord's work, people who are in the family of God, and, I think, to those who are Christians married to non-Christians. What about a person who was divorced and so forth before they became a believer? You know, I really have to believe that whatever happened before you were a Christian is past; and now that you've come to Jesus Christ, there's a whole new life. I mean if everything becomes new, then everything becomes new; and you start from there. So I hope that helps if you're having questions about it.
And that led to another question. Somebody said, "In the standards for a deacon or an elder in Timothy and Titus, are those things that are given as standards there...things that have to be true of a man's whole life or just the present?" And the answer is very simply, just the present. Just the present. But, watch this one, if a man is to be an elder in the church of Jesus Christ, his present has to be long enough a period of righteousness to be believable. Okay? We wouldn't say, "Oh, boy, he's great this week. Make him an elder." Should be a period of time in which he's proven himself.
Well, important questions. Let's answer a Biblical question, specifically related to the Scripture. Lemme have you do this. Look with me for a moment at Matthew 9:3. Go back to 8:4. Let's...let's...let's speed it up. I'll...I'll skip that one, and we'll go back and pick up 8:4. Jesus has healed a leper here, put forth His hand and touched him and said, "Be clean," so forth. "And Jesus said to him...now this is the text...'See thou tell no man; but go thy way, show thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded for a testimony unto them.'" That cleansing act in the temple. Now, you see what happens? The man is healed, and Jesus says, "Don't tell anybody." Okay, look at Mark 1:40, and we see the similar situation. Maybe exactly the same one, in fact. He heals a leper in Mark 1:40, and he was wonderfully healed, and verse 44, He said to him, "'See thou say nothing to any man; but go your way, show yourself to the priest, offer for your cleansing those things which Moses commanded, for a testimony to them.' But he went out and began to publish it much and spread abroad the matter, insomuch that Jesus could no more openly enter the city, but out in desert places, and they came to Him from every quarter."
Now, the question comes up why did Jesus tell him not to tell anybody; and this has confused a lot of people. It's been asked several times. Lemme give you the...the point. Now, there are some commentators who say He wasn't telling him not to tell anybody. He was telling him not to tell anybody before he went to the priest. In other words, He wanted him to follow the proper sequence of things that a leper had to do before he started to run around and tell everybody, because he needed to have the testimony of the priest, and so forth, that he was clean. He, a leper didn't just run in the crowd and say, "Hey, everybody, I have an announcement." Whoosh, you know, they'd be all gone. So some say the point was that he was not never to tell anybody, but for the moment, he was first to go and then go to the priest and do it afterwards; but I don't feel that that's the proper one. That's...that's possible. That may be implied here; but I think the key to the thing, understanding why Jesus told him not to tell anybody, is exactly what it says at the end of verse 45. When...when he told it to the people and spread it all over the place, Jesus could no more openly enter the city. Why? Every guy who was sick was standing around. He was mobbed, and He was mobbed for all the wrong reasons, see. Just like when He fed 'em bread on one side of the Sea of Galilee, and the next morning in Capernaum, when He got up, the whole mob was there; and He looked at 'em, and He said, "Ahhhhh," said, "you're not here because you believe in Me. You're here because you want free food."
You see, Jesus knew that if He'd draw undue attention to Himself, appealing to the wrong motives and the wrong reasons, it would just crimp what He intended to do. He wasn't chiefly a miracle worker. I believe, and this is true, I believe that the miracles were mostly for the disciples...to confirm their faith. You see, miracles don't con...don't...don't do a thing for unbelievers. You know that? Just read John 9, and they'll show ya. When all the Pharisees went about to examine the blind man, they concluded that Jesus was some blaspheming counterfeit. See, unbelief investigating a miracle is useless. See, miracles are only to...to support the faith of already believing hearts, and so I think that what Jesus was saying was, "Look, do me a favor, will ya? I've got some things I'd like to accomplish here. Keep this quiet for a while, so I don't get drowned in a sea of people who want nothing but miracles."...
That speaks to me about this age. It seems to me that there are lots of people running to Jesus for the same reason today. When you hear time after time after time people saying, "This miracle and that miracle and this miracle, and Jesus did this miracle, and He'll do a miracle for you and a miracle for you," and I hear Oral Roberts say that every time he comes on TV. "He'll do a miracle for you. Get my book, and it'll do a miracle for you." And they're...you know, the people are all piling around Jesus to get a miracle. I'm afraid that isn't the point. So that's, I think, the reason that our Lord was saying what He was saying here.
Here's a short question. Somebody said, "If Christ died Friday afternoon and rose Sunday morning, how could He have been three days and three nights in the heart of the earth as according to Matthew 12:40?" Well, there's a big debate, see. Some people think Christ was crucified on Wednesday. Some people think Christ was crucified on Thursday. Some people think Christ was crucified on Friday. I am of the Friday category, and I have reason for that. Remember that little book I wrote called Can