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Thursday, September 9, 2010 | Comments (8)

Men, what if your employer described you in an annual review as “passive, indifferent, and irresponsible”? Without a radical change in attitude and behavior, you’d find yourself looking for another job. If you can’t get away with it at work, why would you think it’s okay to slough off at home? The sad reality is that many husbands—though willing to work hard and expend great energy in the workplace, at recreation, or even with hobbies and leisure—many act like indolent teenagers at home, shirking their responsibilities toward their wives and children.

In today’s selection, John takes a baseball bat to the world’s version of manhood, and shows from Ephesians 5 what real manliness looks like. Here’s a bottom line: True manhood starts and ends in the home. Husbands, listen to the whole clip (wives, make sure they do it!).

Listen to this 10-minute clip:

Launch Player  |  Download  |  Full Sermon

Gentlemen, now that you’ve heard this for yourselves, ask your wife to listen and then do a little exercise. Ask your wife to rate your performance in the workplace on a scale of 1-10 (1 is a low score, 10 is high). Then ask her to rate your performance in the home, as a husband and as a father. After that, if you dare, come back to the comment thread and let’s discuss what we’ve learned. It might be painful, but that’s okay—no pain, no gain, right?


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#1  Posted by Elaine Bittencourt  |  Saturday, September 11, 2010 at 10:12 AM

The simple fact that you have to write "wives, make sure they do it!" says a lot, IMO. =)

My husband is not saved, would there be a point to make him sit down to listen? I don't think so. I am always worried whenever I start any conversations about something I am reading/studying in the Bible that he'd think I am being pushy or trying to imply anything.

"many act like indolent teenagers at home, shirking their responsibilities toward their wives and children." That's so true, however it's sad when it's said of Christian husbands.

Grace and Peace,


#2  Posted by Dan Wilson  |  Saturday, September 11, 2010 at 2:52 PM

I have seen men would sit on his favorite chair watching tv for hours with a beer in his hand. Cartoons, TV, Movies, real life too. Sad.

Sadly, some have a rule to eat, work, tv, sleep. Some of the stuff is missing like reading God's Word, spend time with family, and etc.

My dad's father worked 14hrs everyday to provide for his family and he died from stress and being overweighted when my dad was 19 yrs old. But dad's mom lived to be 90yrs and she died a year and 4 months before the 9-11 attacks.

#3  Posted by Johan Schmidt  |  Saturday, September 11, 2010 at 7:33 PM

Yes, we men have a lot to answer for. Life is so full of outside pressures on a marriage, that without doing it in the way God planned for it to be, it'll flop, and end up with lots of heartache and pain for many.

#4  Posted by Steve Sizemore  |  Saturday, September 11, 2010 at 7:47 PM

I have been a Christian husband for 27 years and just never got it. My marriage is crises right now and it has awakened me. I have just finished the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs and it is so simple, yet so profound. The key to love and respect is "unconditional". I believe if the husband will love unconditionally, the wife, in most cases, will respond properly. It's agape love, it's servant leadership! Don't try to be the Holy Spirit for your wife, don't complain, be grateful, act at home as well as you do outside the church, at work. Have no expectations and you will not be disappointed. Just love her unconditionally. Don't wait until she is doing what you think she should be doing. Just love her with the love of Christ.

#5  Posted by Bobby Croom  |  Saturday, September 11, 2010 at 8:59 PM

I'm a single dad of 3 boys at home. I too acknowledge that men need to step into their God given roles. But I also recognize that some women (speaking of single parents) would rather remain single and independent because they do not want relinquish their position as the leaders in the home, while explaining that God is the head of their lives and they don't need to be submitted to a man. The children suffer in two way:

1. The children miss the father figure in the home.

2. The children do not have a God given example of a how a proper, Godly example of a Husband-Wife relationship to observe in the home. Therefore, the children miss out on the opportunity to learn the much needed attributes of a Christ-Centered/Godly Honored marriage. End result? When the children become adults, the have no Godly marriage foundation to pattern for their own marriages.

#6  Posted by Alexander Armstrong  |  Monday, September 13, 2010 at 6:02 AM

Good Morning to All,

God recenlty saved me from Arminian-Charismatic Theology and am still renewing my mind on a lot of areas. This is one of those areas where I am still growing in. God give me grace. I felt as if John was speaking directly to me.


#7  Posted by Brian Jonson  |  Monday, September 13, 2010 at 8:50 AM

Well, my wife rated me a nine or ten with work and an 8 with family. However, she provided some very helpful and constructive advice to me on how I can do better as a leader. It was specific and it was exactly correct.

I've already contacted one of my elders at church to sit down and discuss as I think it's important enough to make a priority. He will help me with specific areas that need improving.

Thanks, GTY staff.

#8  Posted by Jesus Rodriguez  |  Tuesday, September 14, 2010 at 4:06 PM

I always wandered how I would think and behave if I would've been borne into a christian family. Would I be a better christian?, a better husband? a better dad? but as I concluded, there is no answer to that. I have met people borne into christian families that are just as bad as unbeleivers and I have met people that I admired as to how easy they make christian life to be (by their fruits you will know them). I became a chistian when I was 42 years old, and came from a broken family since I was 5 years old, with life teachings of "work hard so I could eat".

Many of us come into the christian family with so much luggage, that it is hard to descerned, let alone, learn new ways as to how raise a family. I developed a love for God and His precious Word, as how He allows me, and worked hard to implement His principles but failed completely.

Sin does not go away completely, my love for God grows, my faith is strong, and my hope is even stronger, yet, I am a failure.

NO, I will never give up that Christ will have mercy on me