Sitting at a red light the other day, I watched a young man painstakingly set up a small camera in a local park. He adjusted the tripod several times, achieving just the right angle for the stunt he was about to perform. He waited while an elderly couple walked out of the frame, before crouching, twisting his arms around his torso, and launching into a spinning backflip.

Something went wrong, however. He didn’t complete the full rotation, and awkwardly stumbled through the landing. As the light changed and we drove on, he lined up for another attempt.

The whole scene was a brief but amusing reminder of a point we don’t consider often enough: Social media isn’t real life.

You Are Not Your Avatar

Hopefully, that is a welcome relief to you. No one, no matter how much they profess to value the modern virtues of authenticity and transparency, is showing you every last detail of their lives. No matter how perfectly arranged the furniture and décor might be, there’s always a pile of dirty laundry somewhere out of sight. Like the amateur acrobat I observed the other day, there are always failed takes and footage that winds up on the cutting room floor.

The perfect lives you see other people living online are not real. They’re carefully curated and edited to present the version of reality these people want you to see, and often envy. That jet-setting couple that travels to far-flung, exotic locales—they’re not showing you the sleep deprivation they endure or how haggard they look once they arrive home from the road. Those people who bake intricate, delicate desserts aren’t showing you every cake that wouldn’t rise and all the cookies they burned. The bodybuilders and fitness models aren’t posting selfies during a particularly nasty bout with the stomach flu.

You do the same thing. You don’t post every picture of you and your spouse at the beach—just the best ones. It’s the same with your family photos, the stories you share about your kids and pets, and the public comments you make about sports, politics, and current events. All of it has been edited and curated to maximize the response you’ll receive from your online friends and followers.

And even if you’re more publicly honest about your failures and missteps than those online influencers, there’s no way a Facebook profile or an Instagram account can sum up the fullness of who you are and what you believe. Undoubtedly, you have thoughts and opinions that you would never share with other people. Some things simply aren’t fit for publication, even on Twitter.

You Can’t Shepherd the Sheep You Don’t Know

All of that applies to the purveyors of the meta-church, who deceptively hold out the promise that they can feed, lead, and disciple a digital flock.

The task God has imparted to His undershepherds is clear in the pages of Scripture. Paul charged the Ephesian elders with these words:

Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves men will arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after them. (Acts 20:28–30)

But the work of a shepherd is impossible for one who does not even know the sheep. It’s not a job that can be done remotely, at intermittent intervals. The idea of a shepherd trying to protect his sheep from bloodthirsty wolves via a FaceTime call or a ZOOM meeting is laughable.

But as John MacArthur explains in an article titled “More Than Just a Preacher,” there’s much more to the pastor’s calling than just guarding his sheep from external threats.

Sheep lack a self-preservation instinct. They are so humble and meek that if you mistreat them, they are easily crushed in spirit and can simply give up and die. The shepherd must know his sheep’s individual temperaments and take care not to inflict excessive stress. Accordingly, a faithful pastor adjusts his counsel to fit the need of the person to whom he ministers. He must “admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, and be patient with all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

Again, that simply cannot happen if all the pastor knows about a member of his congregation is what they post publicly to social media. And in many of these so-called digital flocks, they likely wouldn’t even know that. Members in the meta-church are often nothing more than a username and an avatar. That might mean a cartoonish simulation of the real person, but how could anyone else in the meta-church know whether even those vague details correspond to reality?

Frankly, the meta-verse isn’t about simulating reality—it’s about avoiding it. Too much of what goes on in social media and web-based interactions is about escapism. For some, it’s about constructing a façade to portray themselves as more likeable, attractive, and interesting than they are in real life. For others, it’s about indulging the aspects of their personalities that aren’t suited for the real world, saying and doing things they would never attempt in person or in front of friends and family. The relative anonymity and obscurity of the web isn’t an aid to caring for and discipling God’s people. Rather, it’s a near-impenetrable barrier to the biblical functions of the church and the work of a godly shepherd.

Moreover, it also prevents the sheep from ever truly knowing him. As John explains, the sheep can’t follow a leader they can’t observe.

Peter challenged his fellow elders to “shepherd the flock of God among you” by “exercising oversight” (1 Peter 5:2). God entrusted them with the authority and responsibility of leading the flock. Pastors are accountable for how they lead, and the flock for how they follow (Hebrews 13:17).

Besides teaching, the pastor exercises oversight of the flock by the example of his life. Being a pastor requires getting in among the sheep. It is not leadership from above so much as leadership from within. An effective pastor does not herd his sheep from the rear but leads them from the front. They see him and imitate his actions.

The most important asset of spiritual leadership is the power of an exemplary life. First Timothy 4:16 instructs a church leader to, “Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.”

Sheep gain nothing from a shepherd they only occasionally see, and even then only from a great distance and through several barriers. Biblically speaking, that is not a shepherd. No one gifted and called to the care of God’s flock would be so dismissive and delinquent in dispatching such lofty duties.