As men go, so go nations, so go generations, and so goes history.

That is why the Lord gave an inspired manual to fathers for teaching their sons—so that they may fulfill God’s design. We know this manual as the book of Proverbs. God took the basic principles of spiritual living and packaged them in the thirty-one chapters of Proverbs, specifically for the purpose of teaching sons.

This is evident from the beginning of the book: “Hear my son, your father’s instruction” (Proverbs 1:8); “My son, if you will receive my words” (Proverbs 2:1); “My son, do not forget my teaching” (Proverbs 3:1); “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father” (Proverbs 4:1); “Hear, my son, and accept my sayings” (Proverbs 4:10); “My son, give attention to my words” (Proverbs 4:20). And so it is repeated again and again (cf. Proverbs 5:1, 6:1, 6:20, 7:1).

A proverb is a principle stated in succinct terms. It is wise in content and concise in form. It is a memorable and pithy statement for the purpose of instruction—perfect for teaching children. The one overarching lesson that we are to glean from the Proverbs is this: wisdom.

Sometimes it is called “instruction,” sometimes “understanding,” sometimes “discretion.” But these are simply elements of wisdom; to know, to understand, to receive instruction, to have discretion means to act in wisdom. The word in Hebrew basically means “skill in living.”

In chapter 1 of Proverbs, wisdom is personified as shouting in the street, crying for people to turn away from being naïve, from scoffing and hating knowledge (Proverbs 1:20–22). To forsake those things and pursue wisdom is the noblest course of life (cf. Proverbs 8:10–11).

If we are to be biblical men, we must pursue wisdom—we must know how to navigate life with skill.

Biblical Principles of Wisdom

The first ten chapters of Proverbs give us many lessons for acquiring wisdom. Eight of these lessons summarize biblical wisdom and describe for us what all men should strive to be.

First, you must fear God. Proverbs 1:7 states, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” And Proverbs 9:10 adds, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” To fear Him, you have to know who God is—you have to know His attributes.

There are two aspects to this. On the positive side, there are attributes that draw out reverential respect or awe. You have to know that He is holy, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, immutable, merciful, kind, loving, and gracious. You need to know that He is sovereignly ordering all the circumstances of history for His own glory. A true knowledge of these things will lead you to reverence.

On the negative side, it is good to fear God’s displeasure—His right to punish, chasten, and judge. There should be a healthy sense of apprehension in the knowledge that He is holy and just, and that we are sinful. We are to fear Him in the sense of the word that we are most familiar with.

But beyond that, this fear involves trust in God, as Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” The point is that we are to be completely focused on God. There is a sense of humility and submission to God’s all-powerful governance that says, “I not only am humbled in Your presence, but I submissively bow in Your presence to anything that You choose to do.” That is what it means to fear the Lord.

Second, guard your mind: “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23). To the Hebrew, the heart was equated with the mind more than the emotions. To speak of emotions they would typically refer to the bowels, or the gut as we might say. But the heart was the seat of thinking. Thus, when Proverbs 4:23 speaks of guarding the heart, it is calling us to guard our minds—our thinking.

Be careful what you put into your mind—what you watch, hear, or read. Be careful of ungodly ideologies and false speculations. Be careful of the heresies and lies of hypocrites. Your mind is the controlling influence over your conduct. So you need to make sure it is directed by truth.

In the book of Proverbs, the writer sometimes addresses simpletons as “naïve ones” (e.g., Proverbs 1:22). In the Hebrew language that word relates to being like an open door, which is a great way to picture a naïve person’s mind. A fool has their mind open all the time—everything goes in, and everything comes out. They are unable to discriminate. They cannot retain what is good and expel what isn’t.

In contrast, the wise man will guard his mind, programming it with truth, virtue, faithfulness, honesty, integrity, loyalty, and love.

Third, select your companions carefully. The author instructs his son in Proverbs 1:10, “If sinners entice you, do not consent.” You have the responsibility to put yourself in relationships that are edifying, not relationships that are tempting you to evil things. This can be the simple difference between success and failure. Those who find themselves godly friends will typically grow spiritually, but those who associate with worldly people stagnate—or worse, they find themselves in some kind of destructive sin. The apostle Paul said it this way: “Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

The father warns his son about leaving the paths of uprightness and walking in the ways of darkness in chapter 2. He warns about paths that are crooked and devious. He warns about the strange woman, the flattering adulteress. He also warns about having many superficial friends rather than a few loving, loyal, honest friends (Proverbs 18:24). Choose your friends carefully.

Fourth, control your body. The reality is that young men develop passions that can lead to tragedy upon tragedy unless they learn how to control their bodily desires. This is a dominant theme in the opening chapters of Proverbs. As he speaks of wisdom, he says it is able “to deliver you from the strange woman, from the adulteress who flatters with her words; that leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God” (Proverbs 2:16–17).

He addresses this further in chapter 6:

Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her capture you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? . . . The one who commits adultery with a woman is lacking sense; he who would destroy himself does it. Wounds and disgrace he will find, and his reproach will not be blotted out. (Proverbs 6:25–28, 32–33)

If a man cannot control his body, resisting the seduction of whatever sexual temptation he faces, then he is at severe risk of destroying himself. There are too many cases to count of those who have succumbed to such allurements and have come to know by experience the devastating reality these verses express—there is an undying shame that attaches itself to the adulterer. Wisdom takes note and learns self-control.

Proverbs 5:21 provides further motivation for this when it says, “For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He watches all his paths.” You must realize that God sees everything. That ought to be a strong impetus for purity. Verses 22 and 23 continue, “His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.” There is an ensnaring effect of sexual sin. It entangles and kills, all because the man lacks wisdom and thus, self-control.

Fifth, watch your words. Men are to be careful what they say: “Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you” (Proverbs 4:24). We are to be speaking the truth—not lying and not speaking hypocritically.

There are repeated instructions for our speech in Proverbs. In chapter 6 it says, “A worthless person, a wicked man, is the one who walks with a perverse mouth” (Proverbs 6:12). Chapter 10 adds several more directions: “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence” (Proverbs 10:11); “On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found” (Proverbs 10:13); “With the mouth of the foolish, ruin is at hand” (Proverbs 10:14); “He who conceals hatred has lying lips, and he who spreads slander is a fool. When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver” (Proverbs 10:18–20).

According to the Proverbs, the mouths of fools pour out endless, crooked, and malicious speech. They partake in strife, slander, belittlement, gossip, mischief, and perversity. On the other hand, the words of the righteous are satisfying, and they bring healing and deliverance. They are patient, kind, wise, truthful, honest, pure, gentle, slow to anger, and are mouthpieces for the Lord. We must watch our words.

Sixth, work hard. The author gives this lesson to his son in chapter 6:

Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest. How long will you lie down, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest”—your poverty will come in like a vagabond and your need like an armed man. (Proverbs 6:6–11)

Notice the pattern of the ant’s work. It doesn’t need a manager to get it to work; it is self-motivated to do so. It also plans ahead, preparing its food when the food is available so that it’s ready for the times when the food isn’t.

People are ordinarily lazy (perhaps men especially), preferring rest and idleness over hard work. But giving in to those tendencies is the pathway to poverty. “Poor is he who works with a negligent hand, but the hand of the diligent makes rich” says Proverbs 10:4. Hard work is required for success. A lazy man is a man with too many excuses, too many refusals, and too many postponements. The diligent man pursues his work, earns a good living, has plenty of food, is rewarded for his effort, and earns respect even before kings. So get up and work.

Seventh, manage your money. The first principle for this is covered in chapter 3: “Honor the Lord from your wealth and from the first of all your produce; so your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with new wine” (Proverbs 3:9–10). The lesson here is to give to the Lord from the top—from the first-fruits of what you earn. The point of all your financial resources is to honor the Lord, and if you use them in that way, He will bless you.

On the other hand, you need to be cautious of what you do with your money. Proverbs 6:1 begins, “My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor, have given a pledge for a stranger . . .” This is a warning against foolishly cosigning for the debt of a stranger. He’s saying don’t surrender the faithful stewardship of your own money to someone else’s unfaithfulness.

Wisdom dictates that we steward our money carefully for the Lord’s sake.

Eighth, love your neighbor. Solomon writes in chapter 3, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come back, and tomorrow I will give it,’ when you have it with you” (Proverbs 3:27–28). The principle of not becoming surety for your neighbor (6:1) doesn’t rule out giving money to someone with a legitimate need. If you have the money or the goods that will help a neighbor, then give them.

You are to be generous, showing sacrificial love to your neighbor. Take care of him, live with him in peace, forgive him, and meet his needs. If you do, Proverbs 3:35 says you will inherit honor.

Be a (Wise) Man

These are God’s instructions for a son who is to become a man—a wise man who fears God, guards his mind, selects his companions, controls his body, watches his words, works hard, manages his money, and loves his neighbor. The pursuit of such wisdom is to be tenacious in the life of every believing man, more than if he were searching for the greatest treasures this world can offer.